Myth: “If I’m a good Christian, then nothing bad will happen to me.”

Genesis 50:20

This isn’t what I asked for, thank you. I want my old life back.

The one where my parents were the perfect couple. Where I was the only one among my friends whose parents were still together. And seemingly still in love.

The one where I was voted most likely to succeed and everyone, right or wrong, envied my life because it seemed so perfect. And I believed it was.

I want to go back to the times when I knew You were involved in my life. The ones where I prayed and You answered. I talked to You, and You listened. The times when I knew You were alive. Loving. And on my side.

I want the life where all I had to do was show up for class, and I got good grades. Name a job opening, and I landed it squarely. Speak my needs, and my husband moved heaven and earth to meet them.

I Want to Run Away

By Lysa TerKeurst

"If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him and to hold fast to him—then the Lord will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you." Deuteronomy 11:22-23 (NIV)

One of the worst feelings in the world to me is feeling stuck.

Stuck in a situation where I can't see things getting better. I look at the next 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, and all I see are the same hard patterns being repeated over and over.

I try to give myself a pep talk and tap into that part of me that chooses to see the bright side. But it isn't there.

Life suddenly feels like it will forever be this way.